It´s a conversation I remember quite well. We had it on a Monday over lunchtime, right before spending half of the week at a conference. I had left home early that morning and went to the gym. Next stop was the office, from where we had started our trip. Now we were enjoying a meal.
"I don´t understand why you spend the morning exercising instead of being at home with your wife right before a four-day-trip."
My friend brought it to the table without any hesitation. He nailed it: It´s all good to apply some discipline but it´s possible to push it too far. You can become inflexible and start to live with the wrong priorities. This time I was neglecting my marriage and family.
It hurt to hear something like that but it made me change my approach. I haven't stopped working out but I began to change plans more often.
These things help me to decide whether or not it might be the right thing to do:
Remembering what I really want long term
I haven´t heard of anyone yet who wished at the end of his life that he had worked more. This is how Dale Partridge, an american entrepreneur and start up coach, puts it:
"Don´t be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life."
To know what you really want to accomplish in life can help a lot. How should family and friends remember me? To find out about this I highly recommend Michael Hyatt´s book Living forward.
Keeping a calendar
Once a week my wife and I sit down together to open our calendars. We go through the next seven days. We usually do it on a Sunday or Monday night.
It helps me to discover in advance when my family needs me more. For example I will join my wife for a date at the doctor with our two daughters.
Being honest to myself
Not to go for a run just because I´m lazy has nothing to do with having a healthy break. To sleep in because of a couple of long days at work is on the other hand a very good thing to do.
You have to differentiate. The human body isn´t a robot. It needs times to rest recharge. But if you get used to the exceptional cases there won´t be much progress at all.
I try to tell myself the truth when it comes to canceling an appointment I have with myself. There´s no point in making up lame excuses.
Keeping a good level of discipline
If there are more days on which I stick to my plans, it becomes much easier to change them on some of them.
Times of change are usually not the best times to take a break. If you´re developing a new habit such as getting up early, you should keep it up. You´ll find more on this topic in this blog post.
How much discipline is healthy? What kind of experiences did you make with taking a break? I would love to hear from in a comment.
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