Kids get praise and approval. As a father of two young daughters I know that from own experience. If they crawl, climb or do anything else, I don´t hold back words of encouragement. At what age do we stop doing this? And why?
I can´t think of too many situations in my everyday life among adults where people have added value to my life. Bad news is: I tend to act like them. I keep quiet. That´s not a good thing.
A few years ago I came up with three things, that I try to do over and over again. Three easy but effective steps, that can be followed anywhere and anytime:
Say something when others won´t
Even if it is as simple as "Good morning!", "You´re welcome!" or something else. Find these moments make others wonder because they did´t expect you to say something at all. I´m not talking about friends or family but about people who are not as close to us. Or about people who we meet and they don´t know us (yet).
Maybe you´re thinking "That´s stupid! The world doesn´t need another comment like this." My personal experience is that it´s often the small things that make a big difference. Maybe a few words but a huge impact. My words could mean a lot to this person. Who knows? My smile and my "Thank you!" can make somebodies day.
Find a way to show that you´re interested
Asking questions is actually adding value. You can ask somebody on the train about the book he or she is reading. You can ask others about their opinion on a certain subject.
More than that: Ask for their name. Try to remember it and use it. People love to hear their name. I even take notes after conversations concerning names and things I asked for. This might sound crazy but it is very helpful.
Be generous with praise, thankfulness and approval
"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." This quote by William Arthur Ward nails it. Often times it´s not so much a problem with my feelings but with my fear and holding back that fails to let people know gratitude.
Many times I need to pump myself up. To talk to myself. To say something like "Got talk to this person now! Let her know that what sie did was awesome." It feels awkward, but by doing it again and again it gets easier. Some might say "If it´s not natural, don´t do it anyway!" - I say: It doesn´t matter how much of an introvert I am, I want to learn to add value. Just as I do with my kids.
What do you do to add value to others? Let me know in the comments below.
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